Act now, ask later

It’s the middle of January, and our neighbor’s pond has frozen, thawed and frozen again. We are in the minuses. The deep freeze has set in and the doldrums are making themselves comfortable.

“Use at your own risk,” the sweet-sounding neighbor on the other end of the line says the day I call to introduce myself. Our conversation flows easily, like brushing fluffy snow off a car window.

“It’s really something,” we both agree, speaking of the frozen wonder that lies between our two yards. We talk about meeting there one day. Bundling up and seeing each other’s faces, maybe even venturing out onto the ice.

“This means the world to my husband,” I say.

Baby bump here to stay

Thank you Jennifer Garner for saying what needed to be said:

"I am not pregnant, but I've had three kids and there is a 'bump.' From now on ladies, I will have a 'bump' and it will be my 'baby bump' and let's just all settle in and get used to it, it's not going anywhere."

Garner set the record straight Wednesday on The Ellen DeGeneres Show. Her words were not defiant or full of angst. She sat on a sofa chair in a studio filled with lights, cameras and eyes on her telling her truth, a message sprinkled with hope, to the world. She was polite, passionate, funny and endearing. She was beautiful and eloquent. She said what every women with “a little in the middle” has been dying to say.

Can Superman protect us?

Will the bad guys get us? My son wants to know. I’m paying bills when he erupts into panic mode. Mom? Mom! I move the mail aside and look him in the eye. No, we are safe.

But what about Mr. Fox? He’s fascinated by the furry villain, along with Mr. Grinch and the Big Bad Wolf – his go-to bad guys who at any moment could be lurking in the woods ready to pounce and make a stew of us.

I tell him not to worry. We are far from the landscape of the Peter Rabbit cartoon. But the truth is more difficult. I’ve seen this world go dark on the brightest of days. How can I guarantee safety?

Just the right size

Want to do a dance? Yes, I say and take the little one’s hands in mine. Let’s dance. I scoop up the girl too – she’s a sitter now – and twirl her in my arms. "Hakuna Matata" is playing on the computer and we three are twirling in the living room. It is close to bed time, but sleeping can wait. We must dance first.

Where’s the part where he eats the worms, mom? The song is from a Disney movie that plays on the screen while we rock and sway, bop and dip, to the beat. Their smiles are worth a thousand winning lottery tickets. I snap a photo with the memory card in my head and save it in my brain for only the rainiest of days.

Such young versions of themselves, they are superhuman. A 10-month-old who seems to connect as if her soul were dialing the number to mine. An almost 4 year old who is independent, grounded and reflective like a Buddhist monk.

In for surprises

As a mom very few things shock me. My son peed in the small trash can in his room once. I was surprised and disappointed, but not shocked. Many things my children do make me raise my eyebrows. Here are a few that have surprised me the most:

How little my daughter resembles me

Maybe I was expecting a carbon copy of myself, like my husband got when our son was born, but my daughter doesn't resemble me at all. She is much more beautiful to the point I am stunned we are related. When she made her debut into the world, I wondered where those bright blue eyes came from and now that she is 10 months old, I still don’t see any resemblance.

Breathing easier

Should smoking in the car with kids be illegal? Find out what I think in my latest mommynearst.com article.

I was young when I begun

Home alone with two kids. One is rolling on the floor, eating her doggie toy. The other is taking a nap, I think. There is a God.

No man can hinder me. Until a three-year-old, does.

At the grocery store, somewhere between the produce and milk, he screams incessantly. In. My. Face. 

If you want to find your way to God, disengage.

I strum my fingers on the handle of the cart, concentrating on yogurts – Greek or whipped? – while the volcano, erupts. How much for a taxi ride to purgatory?

I am held hostage by a belligerent toddler who fought nap time and real food all day. He begged for gummy worms – a thundering voice from such a small being – stopping shoppers in their tracks. The baby girl in back of him, the one in her car seat just watched with her big blue eyes. Captivated. I’m sure she was taking notes. Sister is not old enough to talk yet. Scream, she can do well. But that was not her mood at that moment.

Early morning folds into the lunch hour, time ticks by slowly when I’m alone with them.

I was young when I begun.

Afternoon, evening, until their heads hit the pillow and eyes close, I am sweet and understanding. His flip out in the grocery store, has drifted away like his mind off into dream land.

I still feel, though, I am losing it with these two.